Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Petty Quarrels: Unlocked

A relationship without a quarrel is but a dream. Since time immemorial, men and women fight over the pettiest things from the toilet seat, to who-throws-the-trash, to who's wrong who's right, to whatsoever things that suit their fancy. Unfortunately, these petty fights doesn't just fall off the cracks-- they build up and-- "poof!" It's bigger than life!

Most of the time, quarrels are not a sign of lack of love rather of misunderstanding. Men and women reacts in different ways because we are different species. Men are men and women are women. We have varying ways of expressing ourselves.


Have you ever heard of "Why doesn't he just do this or that?", "Why is he so insensitive to my needs?", OR "Why do girls expect us to read their minds?", "Why can't she just say what she want and stop this guessing game!"

Familiar? It's our expectations on how the other should act, what the other should say.

Point # 1: Men and Women are different. Therefore, must not be expected to act the same in similar circumstances.

If we will expect them to act in certain ways, we are headed for a disappointment. For example, a girls expects him to give her a flower and chocolates on valentines day-- and he doesn't? What'll happen if he gave a book instead? or a notebook and pen? His expression of love is not the same as what the girl has conceived in her mind. The girl would feel resentment and would not talk to him! He was there thinking-- "What have i done wrong? I gave her a present and this is what i get?" Wait till the resentment builds up caused by a lot of similar scenarios of disappointments till both of them are fed up and would give up thinking the other is hopeless!

"When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom"-- John Gray, Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.

So women, stop saying-- "You don't love me! If i were in your place, i would do this and that. You are so insensitive!"

Men, don't say "You don't understand!" ( i can't say much here, i am, as you may have already guessed, a female. and is not in a relationship-- so please help me here :))

Please help me by adding comments of agreement or disagreement. Questions and suggestions are also welcome. Opinions and real life experiences will be much appreciated!

(Ideas here was adopted from John Gray's "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" and was just explained further by the author)